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Friday, March 21, 2008

Don’t Be A Victim… To Life

Lately, I am in one of those high periods of life when everything you touch turns to gold - the Midas Touch. My health is wonderful mentally and physically. I quit drinking coffee. I am exercising regularly with forms, bag work, weight training, BJJ, and yoga. I'm maintaining a healthful weight and sticking to my nutritional plan. Every month, our karate school runs more smoothly. I really feel on top of the world.

I know this is not always the case. At times, I played the role of the victim - a victim to life. When thing in life would go wrong, I’d blame other people and circumstances. Luckily, I snap out of these feeling quickly by recognizing them. Only once I shook off this victim mentality, I could seek the answer to the current problem or situation.

Have you ever played the part of the victim? We are more likely to be victims to are own unhealthful attitudes and thoughts – Stinkin’ Thinkin’- than we are to be the victim of a violent crime.

What should you do if you find yourself playing the role of the victim? Here are some things that steer me back on track.
  • Take Responsibility – Dr. Phil always says that you can fix what you deny. Admitting to yourself that a situation has arisen is the first step.
  • Take Control – Once you identify a problem, you need to take control of your thoughts and actions. Many times, we see the problem and hope that it will go away instead the situation balloons into a bigger problem. In most violent crimes, the attacker starts with an interview to see if you are a good victim. Handle the interview correctly, the attacker will find an easier victim. Handle it poorly the situation gets worst. Learn to anticipate problems early and handle them right away.
  • Ask the Right Questions – Victims ask the wrong questions like “Why does this always happen to me?” Instead, ask yourself action, solution oriented questions. If business is slow, ask, “How can I improve my business today?” If you are having troubles in a relationship, ask, “What are some things I can do to improve this relationship?” Stay away from questions starting with “Why” because why questions tend to be victim oriented.
  • Create Goal and Follow a plan – If you’re passionate about a goal, we focus solely on the next step and are more resilient to the difficulties.
  • Keep Score – If you shoot hoops in basketball, your drive is different than if we started keeping score. Keeping score gets those competitive juices following that create the path to success. Don’t view poor results as a failure. Poor results just mean that your plan needs adjusting.
  • Get a Birdseye View – Step back from the situation and view it objectively. Try to see the situation as if you are not involved – an outside observer. Ever notice how sometimes as an outside observer the solution is so clear, but the people involved are so invested that they don’t see clearly. Take an outsider look at the situation and see thing from the other people involves shoes.
Being a victim is no fun. I know because I’ve been there. By managing each situation with a positive mindset, you can avoid becoming a victim … to your life.

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